Joe's Journal
by MegDillon
Summary: Excerpts from Little Joe's personal journal highlighting his adjustment to living with a new sister-in-law. Spelling and punctuation have been corrected in most places; the words and run-on sentences are all his.
1. Chapter 1

AUTUMN

October 3

Adam got married this morning! That's right. I can't hardly believe it, but it's true. Me and Adam and Pa and Hoss rode into town first thing this morning so Adam and Adele could make their appointment with Judge Evans and it was just us. Adele doesn't have any family out here and she's new to town, so it was just us Cartwrights and Adele but . . . hey! I guess she's a Cartwright now, too. Imagine that! Afterwards, we had a late celebration breakfast at the International Hotel before Adam and Adele got on the coach to San Francisco for their honeymoon. Actually it was closer to lunchtime and Adele called it a brunch – you know, a combination of breakfast and lunch. I think she made that word up. She's clever like that.

I think Adele wanted to wait till Spring to get married but Adam didn't wanna wait. Probably afraid she'd change her mind in the mean time. And Adam always gets his way (she'll have to learn that sooner or later). She is an odd, quiet one. Kinda like Adam. They're a lot alike, those two, in lots of ways. She's a Yankee on her father's side, she's educated, and loves book reading and she sings really nice, like Adam, only higher, haha.

Anyway, we're all real happy for Adam, especially Pa. He really likes Adele, says she's "lovely" and that she plays a "wicked" game of chess. Pa wanted them to have a real wedding at The Ponderosa or at church but Adele she's been married before and like I said she's quiet like Adam and kinda shy and Adam and Pa had words – LOUD words - about it. So instead of getting married alone in San Francisco, like they planned, just the two of them, they agreed to get married in Virginia City and let us Cartwrights stand up for them. When they get back from San Francisco, we're having a big reception for them at The Ponderosa. Adam thought of it and it made Pa back down and now he's happy about it. We're inviting nearly everyone in the whole territory. I don't know what Adele feels about it but now she's a Cartwright anyway and so has to do what Pa says, haha. Also, she has to obey Adam cause she said so in her marriage vow. I heard her say it.

October 10

Me and Hoss got all the trunks moved from Adele's house to The Ponderosa. She's selling the furniture with the house so all she's bringing is stuff that fits in trunks and most of it is books, I think. And clothes. Well, whatever's in those trucks, it's all going in the attic till she can sort out what she wants.

I'm leaving tomorrow so won't be writing here for a few days. Me and Hoss have to go gather some strays then one of us have to check the line shacks, make sure they're stocked for the winter. Then I suppose we'll need to check fences one last time before winter sets in. Be nice to have Adam here to help but it's worth it to have him gone where he is. I'm sure he's having more fun than us, if you know what I mean, haha.

October 22

Adam and Adele are coming back tomorrow and I don't know who's more excited about it Pa or Hop Sing. Pa had a talk with Hop Sing about letting Adele help. Seems she told Pa she wants to help and has "concerns," she called them, about sitting around all day. I guess I can understand that. I know she had servants when she was married before but I don't know more than that. I mean, I don't know what she did all day then but after she moved to Virginia City she didn't have servants. It was just her at the house so there was housekeeping and cooking and all that other stuff she did by herself. And she's a pretty good cook, too. Not as good as Hop Sing maybe but she cooked dinner for us a few times when Hop Sing was gone and she did good. But her desserts, oh Lord, I don't think I've ever had such good cake. Don't tell Hop Sing I said that.

October 26

Tomorrow is the reception and it's gonna be an all day thing. Probably a hundred people coming. Adele turned kinda pale when we talked about it at dinner tonight and I saw Adam put his hand over hers when Pa talked about who all is coming.

When they got back, they told us all about their trip to San Francisco and what they saw and what they did. Well, not everything, if you know what I mean. Me and Hoss caught Adam up on ranch operations and now after dinner we sit around like we always did only now there's another person but you'd hardly notice her she's so quiet. She's either reading, sewing, or playing chess with Pa.

It's kinda odd having Adele here now. Especially late at night when she and Adam go to his room together if you know what I mean. They even come to breakfast together and I get embarrassed thinking about them. But they never do anything more than kiss each other on the cheek if they know someone's around.

One thing that's hard is when she takes a bath. I mean, she always wears a heavy wrap going in and coming out of the room off the kitchen so it's nothing like that but just knowing she's in there naked bothers me and knowing that Adam's seen her naked. Got me thinking 'bout when she washes her ladies' delicates, petticoats and such, and has them hanging outside and then she gets to see our wash, too. I mean, other ladies have taken baths here but I've never seen ladies' clothes hanging outside this house and I still haven't and I am not looking forward to it. It's so, you know, different. Pa's no stranger to living with a woman and Adam remembers what it's like. I don't know what all Hoss remembers about having my Ma in the house but somehow I don't think he ever wondered about her taking baths and hanging her underthings on the line. Maybe Adam did. I don't know. It's just that it kinda bothers me since I never lived with a woman except my Ma and I was a little kid then.

Adele's been real careful to ask Hop Sing if she can help him and he says "Okay" probably 'cause Pa told him to let her. I think it's nice she doesn't try and take over Hop Sing's job like some ladies do. I think Hop Sing thinks so, too.

November 1

The party was a great success! Adele looked so pretty. She wore diamond earrings and a really pretty dress that showed her bare shoulders and Adam and Pa introduced her to probably every single person who came to the reception and she was very "gracious" (that's the word one of the older ladies used). Everyone is so happy for them and says they're "well matched." I'll have to think about that. I mean, she's a lot like him, I know that, but don't know if that means they're well matched. I mean, opposites attract, too, right?

I danced with Adele and she's a real good dancer as you can imagine she would be having gone to school in France and all. She's littler than I thought she was, too, real light and light on her feet, too. And she has the prettiest dark blue eyes. I don't know that I've every seen eyes that color before. Hoss was sweating over when he had to dance with her cause he was afraid he'd break her and that'd make him feel bad not to mention that Adam would kill him right there on the spot. But Hoss did fine but he told me later it was all he could do to keep from seeing how far up in the air he could throw her, haha.

Anyway, all my best gals were there and every time I danced with one of them I thought about whether we were "well matched" and if I could see myself married to the one I was with. I still don't know and when I talked about it with Hoss this afternoon he said it's just cause I haven't met the right gal yet. Think I'll ask Adam.

Adam, he's changed. Which is a good thing, haha. He's not so crabby anymore and I don't think it's just the you-know-what though I think that helps. And it's funny, cause now when he walks in the house, she's the first thing he looks for and then his face changes when he sees her. I guess that's love. It's kinda fun to watch him with her. Today, they went for a ride together. She's not a very good rider. She only just learned this year because Adam taught her. She rides the gentlest mare and does all right as long as the trail is even and the pace is slow but Adam says she's getting better but I don't think so. Today they were gone for so long we almost sent a posse out for them but Pa said they were fine and then he smiled and turned and walked away real fast. Anyway, they were home before dark and looked like they had a good time.

November 12

I'm ashamed and embarrassed but lately every night when I'm in bed I try to see if I can hear Adam and Adele and mostly I can't. Not really. I hear some low voices and some movement but nothing obvious, if you know what I mean. But I'm embarrassed I'm even thinking about it.

And then sometimes when she's helping Hop Sing serve dinner or breakfast, her arm will brush past me and I feel real warm in the place where her sleeve brushed mine and I think about how Adam touches her and what it would be like if I touched her like that and then I get all embarrassed again and I feel bad cause she's Adam's wife and I shouldn't ever think of her that way. Also, Adam would kill me if he knew. No kidding, I think he actually, really would.

Adele and Hop Sing did a thorough cleaning of the kitchen yesterday and Hop Sing was so happy about that. Adele is also really good at sewing and mending and Hop Sing said, "Missy Adele can have it! Hop Sing no good with needle like Missy!" I just hope she doesn't start doing other things he thinks she's better at or he'll think he's not needed and he'll quit. I heard Pa and Adele talking about it and they said it was a "delicate balance." Adele traveled all over the world with her Pa when she was a kid so she's used to people from other places and she understands how Hop Sing is a member of this family and I like that.

November 14

Today I was alone with Adam working on some fence line and I asked him how he knew he wanted to marry Adele. He stopped what he was doing and thought for a moment but he was smiling that slight Adam smile. Before he could say anything I asked him if it was his heart or his head that decided and right away he said it was both. And then he said he'd met and loved enough women to know and that when he thought about not marrying her and not being near her all the time he said, "Well, that idea was intolerable to me."

He got back to work and talked even more about it. I don't think I've ever known him to talk that much about anything personal. He said she understands him and he understands her and he considers her his best friend and that that's what he looks forward to each day. He also said that making her happy makes him happy. He's designing a house for them but first he's gonna build a greenhouse so she can grow all the flowers she wants and he says that makes him happier than anything else.

I'm taking Betsy to the dance this Friday and I'm trying to think of her as a good friend and I just don't see it. Oh, she's nice and sweet and fun to talk to but I don't think of her as a friend I can talk to about important stuff. And I don't think that doing something really big for her would make me as happy as Adam building that greenhouse.

November 23

It snowed last night and it's still snowing. Adele stood outside and tipped her head back with her tongue out like someone who's never seen snow before and I know she has. She's kinda like a kid sometimes and she's twenty four years old already. The littlest things make her happy and she's been all over the world, she even lived in Paris and Portugal, and she grew up rich and still she says a hot cup of tea in the afternoon or a job well done is what she likes best. Pa finds this "charming" and says it's the Yankee in her and I think it's what Adam likes best about her. Well, among lots of other things, too. But, really, tasting snowflakes and giggling like a little girl?

November 24

It's still snowing and it looks like we're housebound for awhile and I don't know if I can stand it. Being housebound isn't a lot of fun anyway but now with Adele it's gonna be real tough. Last night, after dinner, Hoss broke wind and usually when one of us does something like that Pa just frowns and the rest of us laugh. Not last night, though. No, Sir. Pa scolded Hoss and made Hoss apologize and Hoss was all embarrassed cause of course Adele was there and she musta heard it, too. Not that she did anything but smile a little bit. Hoss couldn't even look at her and she kept looking over at him and when she finally caught his eye she shrugged her shoulders all sympathetic-like so at least she didn't pitch a fit about it but I'm worried. See, what we have here is we're all cooped up together and now we gotta watch it and be on our best behavior all the time because there's a lady present. It's gonna be a long winter.

November 30

Adele's been taking care of the chickens lately. Feeding them and collecting eggs and cleaning out the coop. She also milks the cows sometimes but she's not that, well, good at it. What was the word Adam used? Oh, yeah, adept. She didn't grow up on a ranch so she's never done any of the stuff that comes natural to the rest of us. Gotta say, though, she doesn't complain or make faces and she's willing but, oh boy, she's green! It's kinda funny but it's also frustrating when she doesn't know what to do with what and she's so slow at stuff that shouldn't take that much time, like milking cows or saddling a horse. Pa says she'll learn but I'm having a real hard time making exceptions right now.


	2. Chapter 2

WINTER

December 5

Well, it finally happened. I woke up last night to a strange noise and listened real close and realized I was hearing Adam and Adele. It was real hard seeing them at breakfast this morning.

December 7

The roads were passable today and we went into town to get supplies and also just to get out of the house. Adele came with us. I would have added "of course" in a mean way cause I wasn't happy about it - not that I said anything about it exactly - but Adam had to point out to me that she also needs to get out of the house and especially since she doesn't get out to do ranch chores so she's more housebound than anyone else. I guess I hadn't thought about her needing to be with us all the time. So anyway we had to take the wagon cause she sure can't ride all the way to town. We'd have taken the wagon anyway for the supplies and all but it's a change in the usual way we do things. Adele has to ride in the wagon. First, it would take all day for her to get there on horseback, also I don't think Adam would allow her to. He'd be too afraid she'd get hurt or lost or something.

Gosh, he's like a kid with a favorite toy. If me or Hoss is having fun with her he's always listening real close and I get the feeling he'd kill either one of us if we hurt her feelings or ask her something we shouldn't, like something personal. She's okay with the teasing and joking and we're not mean or anything but I always get the feeling Adam's ready to pounce on me at any moment. I mean, more so than before.

And she seems to have taken a shine to Hoss, I tell you. Always making sure he has enough to eat and letting him win at checkers and things like that. And he adores her like a puppy dog would and I think she must like that. I think I'm her least favorite Cartwright man and I don't know why that is or why I say that, it's just a feeling I have.

So, Adam and Adele met up with us in town and we're at the mercantile and I'm having a nice talk with Alice when Adele walks in and Alice stops and walks over to her saying "Mrs. Cartwright this and Mrs. Cartwright that" and starts talking to her about dresses and Christmas parties and suddenly it's like I'm not even there. And Adele doesn't even acknowledge that Alice had been talking with me.

There's more. Afterwards, we're walking down the street and everyone is stopping Adele and Adam and congratulating them and I can't even finish a sentence because of all the people wanting to talk to them, especially Adele, like she's some kind of princess or something. Even Sheriff Coffee when we ran into him seemed more interested in her than anything else that was going on.

And then . . . it was afternoon and we were getting ready to leave town and the sun was starting to go down and it was getting real nippy-like cause of the wind and Adam insists on taking Adele over to the other mercantile to check on their latest shipment of books and magazines. I would have just gone on ahead but, no, Pa says we have to go together in case of any trouble weather-wise or otherwise. So, see? Everything has to change because of Adele who can't even be bothered with me.

So we get home and I told Adam I'd put the horses and wagon away because I just don't want to be around them for awhile. When I get in the house, Adam and Adele are upstairs and the house smells like Hop Sing's oxtail soup and fresh bread. And then they come down the stairs like they're making some grand royal entrance and we should all stand and bow or something. Then at dinner they made eyes at each other and I got to thinking about what I heard at night and I got embarrassed and Adam made fun of me for blushing. I tell you it made me mad and I was going to leave the table but Pa said no and Adam who always seems to know what's bothering me and likes to make it worse for me leaned over and kissed Adele on the mouth and for a long time, too, till Pa cleared his throat then they stopped. Adele blushed but I don't think she was all that embarrassed cause she had this smile on her face and kept staring at her plate. And then Adam said he was sorry for making me feel uncomfortable but that I better just get used to it and Pa said nothing and changed the subject. I think Hoss was a little embarrassed, too, though.

December 10

Before Adele married Adam and moved in with us, she used to ask me lots of questions about myself like about my favorite books, hobbies, girls I liked, that sort of thing, but she hasn't shown any interest in me since she moved in until today. She came into the barn when I was cleaning out some stalls and she took up a shovel like she was going to be so much help to me and asked me how I was doing. I told her I was doing fine, just fine. She got all quiet-like and kept shoveling with me but real slow the way she does and then she told me that she knows it's hard for me to have her living with us and then she asked what she could do to make it easier for me.

I wanted to tell her to stop sleeping in Adam's bed and stop being so darn pretty and nice to everyone and touching me when she serves food but I didn't. What I did tell her that I was having trouble having her around all the time but that it's not because of her but it's just because she's new and extra to the family. And she nodded her head and said she understood. Then she said, "It's a big change for me, too," and suddenly I felt so bad for her. Here she is living with five men she hasn't known for even a year and trying to fit in and be useful and, you know, it's not her fault everyone wants to talk to her. She's the first lady to land a Cartwright son and in Virginia City, that's pretty big stuff. I told her that, too, and she laughed and said people will get over it and that she hopes they get over it soon. Then she started talking like Adam only not and talked about how life brings change like people dying or moving away or getting married or having babies and how all change, whether good or bad, requires some getting used to (only she used different words) and you know that made sense, too. Mostly tonight, I've been trying to imagine how hard this is for her.

January 1

Blizzard has us snowed in for days now.

We did manage to get into town for Christmas service at church and before that, to a couple of Christmas parties. Adam and Adele came to the Cooper's Christmas party but they haven't gone to any other dances or stuff but Pa did in order that Adam and Adele could be alone at the house. I guess they get sick of us as much as we get sick of them.

But back to Christmas. Adele doesn't like to sing alone. She only sings if someone's singing with her but Christmas Eve she sang a song called O, Holy Night only in French with Adam playing his guitar real quiet and I got all tingly listening to her, it was that beautiful. Like angels, Hoss said. And for Christmas dinner she made a cake that looked like a log with the cake flat like a pancake then rolled up and covered in chocolate frosting. She called it "oon booshda Noel." Something like that. It's French.

She made new shirts for all of us, each one with mother-of-pearl buttons, and each one a perfect fit. I was pretty puzzled by that, couldn't make out how she did it, till Adam pointed out that she does help with laundry and she has mended all our shirts so she made patterns from those. And it turns out she was sewing those shirts right in front of us the whole time and none of us noticed.

Me and Hoss went in together and got her a felt hat with a wide brim for riding and Pa gave her a brooch that had belonged to Adam's Ma and Adele's eyes got all misty over that. Adam gave her a pair of silver earrings for every day. She has diamond earrings she wore at their wedding reception. She got them from her father. I know that because she made a point of telling Adam they were from her father. Then I found out Adam doesn't like her to wear anything she wore when she was married before. I know he must be jealous that some other man had her before but I think there's more to it. She never talks about her first marriage though. Anyway, it was really nice having Adele here at Christmas. It made me feel like more like she's family now.

January 2

Still snowed in and still snowing with drifts coming up to the windowsills. Adele says she's never seen snow this deep and tonight she told us about when she lived in Portugal with her father and the beaches and the people and food and the churches and then she taught us a few Portuguese phrases she remembered. It was nice to think about places where it's warm all the time. She said she would teach me French.

January 6

I couldn't stand it any longer so me and Hoss started shoveling past the path to the barn and back and then we had a snowball fight to end all snowball fights. When we finally came inside, cold and wet and laughing, it didn't even bother me that Adele was sitting on Adam's lap which I've never seen them do. And Pa was at his desk which means they were like that in front of him and I guess he was good with it cause he didn't seem mad or anything. But anyway she got up after we walked over to the fireplace and went in the kitchen and made hot chocolate for everyone.

February 1

Me and Hoss, and sometimes Adam, have been able to get out a few times, even to town. We brought back the mail and today there was a letter for Adele from Massachusetts. Adele asked Adam what it said and when he said he didn't open it she looked at him funny and then kissed him on the cheek. The letter was from her brother who she always calls her half-brother. Adam and Hoss are my half-brothers but we're brothers but I guess Adele doesn't feel that way about her half-brother. She read the letter then gave it to Adam to read and he raised his eyebrows and looked at her when he handed it back to her and nothing more was said. I don't think she cares much for her half-brother and I don't think Adam does either. And I figure I really don't know that much about her.

So I asked her about her half-brother and Pa yelled, "Joseph!" and Adele said it was all right and she explained that her half-brother and half-sister were all grown up and married before she was even born and that they didn't approve of their father's marriage to Adele's mother and so they don't approve of her so they've never been close. That makes me sad. Adele's ma was French and died when she was six, not much older than me when my Ma died and my Ma was French-Creole. We talked about our mothers and being French and then I realized we were sitting real close together on the settee (with our feet on the table – Pa wouldn't scold _her_ for that!) and it didn't bother me at all because I kinda think of her as my sister now.

Then she taught me to sing some French songs cause she says that's a good way to learn French words. Alouette means lark and there's a Canadian song about being mad cause the alouette is singing too early in the morning so the singer threatens to pluck it and each verse is about plucking a different part of the body. So pretty soon, we were all singing in French about tearing the feathers out of that poor lark and Pa and Hoss were laughing so hard I thought they were gonna bust a gut. But we learned the French words for head, mouth, nose, eyes, neck, arm, and leg. I don't know how to spell them in French only how to say them but here's what they sound like: tet, boosh, nay, yuh, coo, bra, jom. I'm gonna memorize those words.

February 10

Still snowy but calmer now and we've been able to get out a lot more lately.

Adam and Adele got in a bad argument. I don't know what about. They didn't come to breakfast together and they didn't say anything either, they were real quiet and she ignored him and he stared daggers at her. Adam finished his breakfast and got up to go upstairs and she turned her head so Pa couldn't see and stuck her tongue out at Adam behind his back. Hoss didn't see it either but I sure did. She looked at me all funny and got up real fast and took Adam's and her dishes into the kitchen. Then Adam comes down the stairs and looks and sees she's in the kitchen and he kinda leaned in and yelled something about, "Don't forget what I said, Wife!" He did, he called her "wife," then he leaves out the front door and slams it shut. Then Pa and Hoss knew there was trouble between them, too, and Hoss and I made to go and she was clearing the table and Hoss says to her, "You want I should poke him one in the mouth?" He was just kidding and I think it kinda calmed her so she smiles and real gentile and polite she says, "Yes, please, if you would be so kind." And I tell ya, things were real quiet between the three of us in the morning. Adam wasn't talking and me and Hoss didn't dare ask.

But round about late morning, Adam suddenly announces he's going back to the house and it's getting near lunchtime anyway and so we followed some distance behind but when we got to the house, Pa's coming fast out the front door looking all serious-like and we can hear Adam talking loud but we can't hear what he's saying. And we took our time putting the animals away and when we were done it was all quiet and we peaked into the house and Adam was sitting at the table and Adele was putting the plates on the table for lunch like nothing had happened at all.

I been thinking about it and I don't know what they were fighting about but I decided I'm on Adele's side. I mean, I know how Adam gets and how bossy he is and he's probably even worse with Adele. I just want her to know I'm on her side but I think I should stay out of it, like Pa says.

February 12

Pa and Adele go to church council meeting once a month and tonight after they got back Adele was happy cause she said she got invited to a women's sewing bee that meets twice a month. It means someone has to drive her into town cause Adam won't let her go alone. It's twenty miles to town and too much can happen to a lady alone out there. Also, she's not a good rider and not that good with the buggy or the wagon either. I never really thought about it before. I mean, me and everyone else can saddle up and go into town anytime we have free time but Adele, she's kinda stuck here if she has to have someone take her every time she wants to go some place.

I think she's glad she gets to spend some time with womenfolk. Must get tiresome for her to be around men all the time.

February 25

Adele got real sick with a high fever but she's getting better now. Doc Martin came out and said it was nothing to worry about. I know Adam slept in the chair in their room not because he didn't want to be with her but because he was meaning to just stay awake and watch over her the whole time she was sick and he was exhausted.

So one morning when she was real sick I was walking past their room and I heard her say that she hated him and he said, "I know," real gentle-like, you know, in the way he does when he's trying to control himself. Made me so mad and so worried why she'd say that, what he did that she would hate him, and I just had to tell him I heard that and demanded he explain it and Adam laughed. He laughed! I heard her say that she hated him and he laughed! I was about to break his jaw but he sat down in the blue chair and told me and everyone in the room that she doesn't like to use the chamber pot in front of him. So that morning she tried to get out of bed and told him to leave but she couldn't even stand she was so weak so he helped her and that's when she said she hated him cause she was embarrassed.

Pa said the misunderstanding is proof why I should stay out of things that are between Adam and Adele but Adam said we are all living under the same roof and sometimes we can't help but get in each other's private business.

Her fever's down now and she sits by the big fire now and reads but she falls asleep a lot. I can see in Adam's face how relieved he is.

None of the rest of us have been sick all winter. Must be her delicate constitution.


	3. Chapter 3

SPRING

March 10

Snow's starting to melt but it's real windy. Today is Adele's birthday and by the way she's almost all better from her fever now. Hop Sing baked her a spice cake with delicious frosting and Adam's started building her greenhouse. They took a walk in the afternoon and when they came back Adele was all excited about the plants they'd seen and how she wishes she could draw better so she could make pictures of them.

March 28

Adam's halfway done with the greenhouse.

Last night we all went into town for a dance. It's the first dance of the year and lots of people came. Guess winter was rough for a lot of folks. I danced most every dance with just about every pretty girl there and had a great time. Couple times though I caught Adele watching me from where she was standing. She danced a lot of dances, too, mostly with Adam but with some other men, too. I don't know [because] I wasn't paying that much attention cause I was having such a good time.

On the way back, Adam had his arm around Adele which he doesn't do that much usually. Not in front of me anyway. But once we got home Adele made a bee-line for me and started asking me about the girls I was dancing with and which one was my favorite and she wasn't teasing, either, she seemed honestly interested. So I answered her questions and it was a good talk but Adam was frowning at her and now I'm thinking about why she was asking. I can hear them talking in their room right this minute. I can't make out what they're saying but she sounds happy.

April 3

Real pretty day with blue sky, white clouds.

A family called Hammond bought Adele's house so Adam's been having to go to town to sign papers because of course he owns it now that they're married and so he gets the money for it even though she bought with her own money but she wasn't married when she bought it. Doesn't seem right somehow that whatever money a woman makes belongs to her husband. Adam's kinda tight with a dollar so I don't know how generous he'd be if she asked for money even though it is her money which should be given to her. When I get married I'm gonna let my wife have whatever money she has already or thinks she needs.

Anyway, Mr. Hammond is the new manager at the telegraph office and he and Mrs. Hammond have two kids and his sister, Hester, lives with them. I haven't met them but Adam and Adele have and say they're really nice folks. Adele was happy cause Mrs. Hammond was so happy with the garden Adele planted and cared for last year and she says she and Hester like some of the same books.

April 11

Adele hung her laundry between the two lines of ours. I think she did that on purpose so we can't see her things.

She and Hop Sing have fun together and it's fun to watch them laugh. He told Pa that she pays respect to his age and knowledge and so he is happy to let her help but only as long as she does things his way. Sometimes, she insists on her way and then he swears in Chinese and she rolls her eyes and one time he complained to Pa about it and Pa told him they'd have to work it out between them and Hop Sing just walked away, swearing in Chinese. Sometimes, when she does what she thinks is right or better he undoes what she did and then she shakes her head and says, "I give up!" and then they laugh. He washes, she helps, and she hangs the laundry on the lines. I think they're working it out.

April 15

There was another dance and Adele seemed to talk with every girl I danced with. Didn't seem to damage my reputation any, may have even helped. On the way home, she told me she's making sure the girls are "worthy" of me. It's nice to have a sister looking out for me.

April 17

The greenhouse is finished and Adele has been collecting wildflowers and planting seeds. She calls it "playing in the dirt."

April 24

The Hammonds invited Adam and Adele to dinner before we had a chance to invite them to The Ponderosa. Mr. and Mrs. Hammond are a little older than Adam and his sister, Hester, is a little younger than Adele and it sounds like they're becoming good friends. It would be nice for Adele to have a lady friend and not just us Cartwrights to talk to.

April 30

Big rain and wind storm the other day felled some trees that need clearing from roads and fences and the fences have to be fixed, too. Then there's the places where debris has dammed the streams and that all needs to be cleared, too. So I might not get to go to the dance tomorrow and I really want to see Lucy.

Adam and Adele had another fight but they're all better now. Actually, we don't see them fight we just see them be real cool and quiet with each other. But it's gotten so's we can tell when something's up with them. Like I said, it's all better now.

May 5

Still finding felled trees that need clearing but it's a lot better now and soon we have to start branding.

I did get to see Lucy and danced with her a lot. Adele's friend, Hester, was there and Adele took her by the arm and introduced her to everyone she knows, mainly us. She seems nice and she has light red hair and blue eyes. She and her brother and her brother's family are coming for dinner on Saturday.

May 10

Weather's been so nice and sunny, even pretty warm in the daytime.

Charles and Millie Hammond and his sister, Hester, were here for dinner and brought their kids and that was fun. Charlie is seven and Adelaide is four and Charlie was all excited about playing cowboy with me and Hoss.

So we're all outside on this sunny afternoon before dinner started and Adele said that Hester really likes animals and maybe Hoss could show her and Hester and Adelaide the animals while I played cowboy with Charlie. I saw Adam shake his head and hold his nose like he does when he's thinking real hard or frustrated with something. Then at dinner Hoss and Hester tried real hard not to stare at each other but I could tell. I think everyone could tell.

But you know what else the Hammonds' visit got me thinking about? When are Adam and Adele going to have children? I know these are real personal questions and I don't mean to be crass at all, it's just that Adele seems to really like children. She held Adelaide's hand the whole time they were following Hoss and Hester around the barn while Hoss and Hester talked about the animals and then at dinner Adele made sure to include Charlie and Adelaide in the conversation, asking Charlie about school and Adelaide about her letters and her dolls. Adele should have children cause she's real good with them.


	4. Chapter 4

SUMMER

June 8

We've been real busy lately with cattle and horse breaking. Adele doesn't like horse breaking cause she says it's too dangerous so she only watched it once and she would like for Adam to just stop but he won't. She really can't stand it, either. One time she was walking past the corral while were breaking horses and she almost cried out loud and then she ran back into the house.

But Adam's teaching her to use a gun, well, shoot a rifle, and that's dangerous, too. They talked about it a lot and Adam finally agreed that Adele should have some careful learning so she can defend herself if she needs to. She doesn't like it either but it was her idea.

Hoss is taking Hester to the church social next week.

July 12

Adam let Adele take the buggy to town by herself the other day. We've all been so busy there hasn't been time to take her to her sewing bee or to visit with Hester or whatever it is she does when she goes to town. He said she could go cause the roads are clear, the weather's good, and there are no known bandits around but he was pretty grouchy and distracted all day till she arrived home which she did on time. He didn't seem very happy that night and she's been quiet ever since so my guess is that may be the last time she does that.

Hoss could take her. I mean, he's been going to town a lot lately even though we're that busy but if he took her she couldn't spend time with Hester cause that's what Hoss has been doing.

Me and Lucy broke up. Well, she broke up with me but we weren't engaged or anything like that.

July 15

Me and Adele sat on the front porch today and I told her about Lucy. We talked about how I see my life going and do I want to get married some day and how do I see that and what kind of girl and we agreed I have lots of time. She's so sweet and smart.

And I asked her about her first husband cause it seemed like that would be all right and she just said he was a nice man except she said he didn't respect her privacy. She said he read her mail and her journal and things like that and I remembered when she got that letter from her half-brother in Massachusetts and how she kissed Adam when he said he didn't read the letter. And she said how Adam respects her privacy and she appreciates that. I said But you gave it to him to read anyway so what's the difference? And she said it was her choice to let Adam read it and that is the difference.

And gosh, her first husband would just go read her journal? It'd be like if Hoss or Pa or even Adam read this. I would die. I mean, this is MY private thoughts, only for me, and it's nobody else's business. Poor kid!

August 1

This afternoon me and Adam and then Pa came running cause we heard Adele screaming. It was a real scream, too, like something dire and not just a girl scream. She was in the greenhouse and I got there first and she was backed up against the far wall and there was a rattlesnake on the floor, a big one, too, all coiled and rattling at her . Seems like a good reason to scream to me even if it was some distance away she still couldn't just leave cause it was between her and the door and I got there first so I shot it. Adam took her into the house and gave her some brandy cause she was shaking real bad and real, real pale but she's recovered now. Adam's gonna put another door in on the other side so she'll have a way out if another snake sneaks in.

She must have thanked me a hundred times tonight for killing that snake but she also says she feels bad that it's dead. She said she was standing at the counter she has in the greenhouse and left the door open and when she took a step back she almost stepped on it and she says it happened so fast she doesn't know if she saw it or heard it first but she got as far away from it as she could and hoped it would leave but I guess she scared it enough that it wanted to scare her back and it did. I'm glad I could do something good for her. Adam thanked me, too.

Adam and Adele picked a spot for their house and we're gonna start laying the foundation soon. I don't know how I feel about that. I don't think I like it.

August 16

Just returned from delivering some stock and Hoss could hardly wait to see Hester again. Gave him lots of ribbing about her while we were away but he just smiled and took it.

I told Adam about the nice talk I had with Adele about marriage and that she talked about her late husband and Adam asked what did she say and I said just that he would always read her mail and stuff. And I said if he was like that why did she marry him and Adam said her half-brother pretty much forced her to cause the man had a lot of money. And she was sixteen at the time! Sixteen and she had to live with a man like that!

It's not a nice thing but this is my private journal so I'm gonna say it: I'm glad Adele's first husband died so she could marry of her own free will and I'm glad she married Adam. She seems happy about it, I can tell Adam's happy about it, and I know I'm happy about it.

August 20

Adam and Adele left for San Francisco today. Adam's working on a timber contract and thought Adele would like to get away, too. The house seems especially empty without her and Pa and Hoss agree. We've gotten kinda used to having her around. Pa got kinda sad when we talked about the house they're building, well, we're building, for them. Actually, we haven't started, just the foundation and that's almost done. Likely the house'll be finished before next winter.

August 22

So just when one woman leaves another comes in. Hester came for dinner tonight and she's real nice, too, but different than Adele. Hester's not so quiet. She's not loud, mind you, she's just not as refined as Adele. She and Hoss both have a way with animals and she can ride real well (Adele is getting better though). And you can tell there's a natural - something - between Hoss and Hester, it's not just love it's a gentleness, an easiness between them. After Hoss and Hester left so he could take her home, Pa turned and looked at me and he looked sad and glad at the same time but he didn't want to talk about it.


	5. Chapter 5

AUTUMN

September 18

Adam got the timber contract signed and Pa's happy about that. He and Adele had a good time in San Francisco, I guess, but Adele said she was really glad to be home and took a walk around the ranch as soon as they got here. And I have to say as pretty as The Ponderosa is it's even prettier with all the flowers Adele puts every where in the house and around the house.

Tonight, Adele followed Hoss into the barn and Adam told her to stay out of it and she laughed and said no and kept right on walking away from him. Adam threw his hands in the air and went the other way. I think I know what that was about, haha.

September 24

Yep, looks like Hoss and Hester are pretty serious and it gets me thinking about when I'm gonna find that special gal but then I remember I have lots of time.

What if Hoss and Hester get married and they also move away? Then it's just me and Pa and I don't know that I like that. I guess Adam and Hoss would still be on Ponderosa land so they wouldn't be too far but it just wouldn't be the same. I think I'll worry about it later, you know, like when it happens.

September 25

Adam got thrown from Sport. Wasn't Sport's fault but Adam got cut up pretty bad. No broken bones but lots of bad bruising and scrapes. Adele's been a good nurse, not squeamish at all.

We had a party here the other night and it was lots of fun. The Hammonds came with their kids and with Hester of course who spent the whole evening with Hoss. Hoss seems real calm and relaxed with her. And happy. And Adele's like the hostess now and not just another guest.

October 3

Today is Adam and Adele's wedding anniversary and Hop Sing made a cake for them. As we were enjoying the cake Hoss announced he asked Hester to marry him and she said yes.

October 31

Hoss and Hester are planning a June wedding here at The Ponderosa. The whole Hammond family came for dinner and they're as happy for Hester as we are for Hoss. They really do make a nice couple like Adele says and she really likes Hester a lot and so that's good cause they're gonna be sisters. Maybe Hester can help Adele learn to ride better since Adam doesn't seem to be doing such a good job, especially lately considering he hasn't taken her out riding for weeks now.


	6. Chapter 6

WINTER

November 23

Winter is definitely setting in and it's been so cold.

Tonight, we were all sitting around real quiet but then got to talking about after Hoss and Hester get married and she comes to live here and Adam and Adele's house won't be near finished yet so we'll have two women living here permanent like. I made a joke about Adele having to share the title of Lady of the House and she just smiled and Pa looked real worried for a minute. Then Hoss said something about it getting crowded and then Adam said, "Even more crowded than you may think." And everything went quiet till Pa stood up and said, "What?" And Adele just kept sewing and said, "Sometime in late April." I don't think I'm slow or anything but it took me a minute to understand. Hoss, too. Of course Adam and Adele are so quiet and subtle about stuff, even big news like this. Neither one of 'em makes things obvious and you kinda gotta drag it out of them.

I thought Pa was gonna burst wide open. Me and Hoss, too. Adam and Adele just sat there cool as cucumbers and they're the ones having the baby. Well, Adele's having the baby, though I guess Adam had something to do with it too, haha.

December 31

Today, me and Adele sat side by side on the settee with our feet on the table (Pa was upstairs and Adam and Hoss were in the barn) and we talked again about how life brings change and change can be a good thing but it always take some getting used whether it's good or bad change.

I feel bad that I ever thought of her as anything but a sister or a friend. I know she cares about me. I care about her and I trust her so I told her how I thought she didn't like me before (I am NOT going to tell her how I imagined her naked!). She got real quiet and then she said she never disliked me she was just trying to figure me out and how I felt about her. Imagine that. I guess it makes sense that she was as unsure about things between us as I was. That never occurred to me and I'll have to remember that for when Hester comes here. I'm glad Adele is my sister and I'll be glad to have Hester for a sister, too. Having a sister is real different than having brother and I like it. And it's kinda exciting now Adele's having to wear different kinds of dresses cause she's not so little anymore, least not in her middle.

I've decided I am going to look forward to the New Year and all the changes it brings.


End file.
